Title
C R A A C K S of Myassa
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Digital Art - Pixels
Description
ATTENTION COLLEGE GRADUATES!
You've earned your new baccalaureate degree and owe 10s of thousands of dollars to heartless predatory loan institutions. So now what?
As you enter the job market you will join millions of other debt ridden degree holders who are competing for the same low paying jobs that you are and most of whom will be better qualified. If your brand new, shiny bachelor's degree isn't enough to make you stand out from the crowd then what's a graduate to do?
Did you just waste 4-5-6+ years of your life learning useless skills? After examining the requirements for the desirable entry level positions like stock clerk, mail clerk, bus boy, night watch, clerk typist, fry cook , armed forces recruit and the millions of other wonderful positions held by other degree holders with boring majors and heavy debt, do you wish you had majored in something other than things which you found interesting?
These days it seems that you need to dig deeper than ever before just to get to the bottom of the employment market. Jobs like dog yard cleaner, lawn mower operator, cleaning windshields at stop lights, playing sousaphone in the park, chicken chaser, egg candler, dog walker, cat herder, cardboard sign maker, mud harvester and dumpster diver have been taken by high school graduates and dropouts. The competition is just too fierce to break into with your worthless BA.
But if edyucation© doesn't impress potential employers, what will?
Howdy! I am T.H.E. (The Highly Edyucated©) Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, B.S., M.S., Ph.D., President of the newest member the State University System of Florida, the College of Recreation, Anthropology, Archaeology, Computer and Kinesthesiological Sciences of Myassa, Florida (CRAACKS of Myassa, Our motto: In Transit Sic Gloria - G-L-O-R-I-A - GLOOOOO-RIA Translated from Latin or Greek or something: I'm coming, find Gloria!). Due to a highly statisticalized study by our CRAACKS Auditors of the Accounts Receivables Department, it has been determined that what you need is MORE EDYUCATION©!
CRAACKS of Myassa now provides the best new budget-friendly edyucation© program ever offered in a state university (in Florida)! For tuition of a mere $25 (plus postage and handling, extra for expedited tuition handling) you can have the degree of your choice! Advanced degrees are available for extra tuition (plus additional postage and handling)!
AND NOW! FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! THE BOGO-BA! That's right! BUY ONE bachelor's degree of your choice and GET ONE of equal or less value FREE AND IT'S STILL ONLY $25 (plus postage and handling)! Don't waste more time and money sleeping through boring classes and exams! Immediate gratification is yours TODAY! If one useless B.A. isn't enough to impress potential employers, imagine how impressed they'll be by THREE!
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!
If you choose to matriculate TODAY you will receive: NOT ONE! NOT TWO! NOT THREE! BUT FOUR! YES, FOUR BACCALAUREATE DEGREES OF YOUR CHOICE! (plus additional postage and handling)
DON'T WAIT! CALL THE NUMBER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN NOW! REGISTRARS ARE STANDING BY! Mention my name, T.H.E. Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, B.S., M.S., Ph.D. and receive a complimentary set of surplus Japanese kitchen knives for free (plus postage and handling)!
1-800-555-CRAACKS (1-800-555-272-2257) THAT'S 1-800-555-CRAACKS (1-800-555-272-2257). CALL NOW!
(Offer void where prohibited by law. Contact your state's Attorney General's Office before matriculating.)
More Myassa tales may be found in this gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
May 1st, 2015
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Viewed 181 Times - Last Visitor from White Plains, NY on 03/01/2024 at 3:41 AM
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Comments (8)
Barbie Corbett-Newmin
I'm already steadily employed as a starving artist, but please ship me the one that turns me into a rich and famous artist. I'll pay extra for a rush on that!
Jim Williams replied:
Besides the BOGO BA, we have an individualized curriculum plan available that can offer you diplomas as diverse as a GED to Dr. of Divinity or even a Mrs. Dr. of Divinity and beyond! Call now! Registrars are standing by! 1-800-555-CRAACKS (1-800-555-272-2257) THAT'S 1-800-555-CRAACKS (1-800-555-272-2257). CALL NOW!
Piggy
I feel more intelligent just from reading the description, my brain would grow to the size of a small moon if I were to actually purchase this amazing document. Sadly I must decline as my hats wouldn't fit anymore!
Jim Williams replied:
We can sell you a new hat, only $25 (plus postage and handling).................... BUT WAIT!.............
Zong Yi
Succinct, powerful and thought-provoking message. It demands the society do lots of soul-searching before too late. L/F
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks, Zong Yi. I think there are still places where you can get a doctorate in divinity for $25.
Stephanie Grant
But wait! I'm sure there has to be a catch somewhere LOL. Great work Jim.
Jim Williams replied:
I'm certain that you're correct, Stephanie, but I haven't found it yet. Mucho thanko.