Title
Easter in Myassa or The Easter Bumbum's Revenge
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Short Story
Description
HAPPY EASTER FROM THE RIGHT HONORABLE RANTIN N. RAVEN-FAUX VI, MAYOR OF MYASSA, FLORIDA (WHERE YOU'RE PAST IS OUR FUTURE)!!
Easter doesn't happen the same day every year and that makes Myassa's unique holiday festivities and activities less than predictable too. The schizophrenic nature of Easter is matched against the obsessive-compulsive nature of local traditionalists.
As in most small towns, Myassa hosts an Easter egg hunt. Usually such hunts are held on town hall lawns or local parks but the Myassa Liquors Bar and Grill / Myassa Town Hall Building is surrounded by an asphalt parking lot decorated with our legendary Swiss Cheese Mini Sinkholes© on three sides and a dumpster in the middle of the fourth. The Mayor lives on the second floor overlooking the dumpster. The recreation areas in Myassa County are the Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest and the Myassa State Endangered Invasive Species Flora and Fauna Preserve and the town isn't allowed to mow the yards, not that The Mayor, acting in his official role as Director of County Roadway Maintenance, wants to anyway.
However, as a corporate partner to the town, The Rantin-Faux Foundation Corp.©, owners of the Newly Renovated Santorum Ballroom©, host and welcome Myassa's children with promises of lots of surprises for the little ones. And do they deliver! But the timing must be perfect or the big surprise won't happen.
The Mayor, who is the last surviving bootay, or Myassa Terrible Tiger Gator©, breeder, in keeping with his family's ancient tradition of protecting the endangered species, wants to help educate the children of Myassa to the ways of the bootay. His education project must line up correctly with the Easter Day celebration. Through centuries of genetic modification by careful breeding, the bootays' precious endangered eggs now hatch within 6-7 days in late March and early April, usually within 1-2 days before Easter. If Easter comes later in April, the eggs can be refrigerated to slow development by 2-3 days without harming the baby gators. If they hatch too soon the gators will be too large.
The photo above shows the babies being carefully removed from their eggs in preparation for Easter. They are kept torpid until early Easter morning when they are inserted into plastic eggs and mixed with the other eggs for the Easter Bumbum (Myassa Wild Hare) to deliver to the ballroom, where he throws eggs to the crowd of children from his magic John Deere lawn tractor pulled by eight tiny Terrible Tiger Gators led by Bohunk the Red Tailed Tiger Gator©. Bohunk helps when it's foggy out by holding up his dayglow tail to light the way.
After being stuffed into a plastic egg half asleep, tossed around in the chocolate and hen eggs on the ride to the Santorum Ballroom, picked up and thrown to the surrounding squealing children, when their eggs are ripped open by the frantic child expecting candy or trinkets, they are ready to be the biggest surprise ever for the children, who discover how hard it is to get a baby Tiger Gator off noses, ears and fingers. Sometimes the same children discover this for 3-4 years running. Eventually they learn the important lesson about endangered animals. Don't mess around with gators! ...
Keep watching for more surprises coming from the Santorum in Myassa.
Photo courtesy of the Florida Archives
See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
March 16th, 2015
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Viewed 275 Times - Last Visitor from Seattle, WA on 03/22/2024 at 6:28 PM
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Comments (14)
Karen Adams
Jim, I could see this story being a really great illustrated children's book! Really fun!
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks again, Karen. I'm currently compiling the Chronicles of Myassa as my Dragon*Con handout this Labor Day weekend. It contains some decidedly childish stories, though not all for children.
Karen Adams
Wow! What an amazing story of how Easter is celebrated here! So glad I don't have to worry about gators in my Easter eggs! Nature lessons are always good ones to learn though!...fv
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you, Karen. Myassa has a number of ... uhh ... unique holiday traditions.
Berta Keeney
Adorable little things.
Jim Williams replied:
I'm pleased that you think so. But they would cannibalize each other if left alone.
Nikolyn McDonald
You are obviously having a lot of fun with this story :) So what are these?
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks for asking, Nicolyn. I have developed the north Florida township of Myassa and the character The Right Honorable Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, The Mayor of Myassa, for several years in my head, on Facebook and in performance. I'm now introducing them on FAA. The story line recounts many of The Mayor's activities. I use photos of The Mayor and "found pictures" and create stories that tie them to Myassa or The Mayor. I have used several pictures of objects that I took. The entire series on my FAA page is in the gallery called "Wack Myassa".
Dorothy Pugh
Wonderful capture of an interesting custom! l/f
Jim Williams replied:
Myassa is a right interesting place, Dorothy. It's sorta intellectually challenged. Thank you.
Lynda Lehmann
Amazing capture! They are completely formed but too small to bite, I guess!
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you, Lynda. They hatch with a full set of teeth and can't wait to taste their environment. They really can deliver a bite to the unsuspecting.
Jim Fitzpatrick
Great capture! fv
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks, Jim. Yeah, it's best to catch them while they're small. The big ones object to being handled.