Title
Genesis 2 - Bringing Home the Bacon
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Found Photo And Short Story
Description
THE MYASSA BIBLE
GENESIS CHAPTER 2
1. Thus the office and the work days were finished, most of them.
2. And on the seventh day The Mayor ended his official work week which he had survived; but he had no rest on the seventh day.
3. And The Mayor worked the seventh day in sanctified service to Myassa: because he opened the Myassa Liquors Bar and Grill which The Mayor had created and made.
4. And using the Myassa Hertz Tipsy Taxi to bring the generations of the Myassa Township and County together, for weekly services of Myassa's First Church of Beer Almighty in the day The Mayor made the Bar and the Grill.
5. And every sandspur in the field when it was in the earth and every beggar lice of the field grew because The Mayor could not stop the rain upon the earth and there was no man who mowed his yard.
6. But there went up a mist from the earth from the heat of rain striking the black asphalt in the parking lot and the fowl of the air fell to the face of the ground.
7. And The Mayor gathered the fallen fowl from the falling ground and dressed and grilled and breathing into his nostrils the scent of grilling fowl: and sandwiches were made.
8. And The Mayor planted a garden east of Myassa which was now filled with sandspurs and beggar lice because the mowing man he hired did flake.
9. And out of the garden made by The Mayor to grow every invasive species that is pleasant to sight, and good for the food, the trees of punk in the midst of the garden and the proliferation of the sandspur and beggar lice.
10. And the rain flowed out of the Bubbling Brown Waters of Myassa Crack; and from thence it was parted to four tourist traps.
11. The name of the first is Myassa State Sink Hole Park: that is it which surpasseth other sink holes.
12. And the holes of that land are sink holes, where there is swimming rednecks and stoners.
13. And the name of the second trap is called Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest and it compasseth east of Myassa Township.
14. And the name of the third trap is called Myassa State Endangered Invasive Species Flora and Fauna Preserve and it compasseth west. And the fourth is The Newly Renovated Santorum Ballroom.
15. And The Mayor fired the flake, chose another, and put him in the Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest to dress it and to keep it.
16. And The Mayor commanded the man, saying, Minimum wage and that of the kudzu thou mayest freely eat.
17. But of the calories of the candy known as Good and Plenty thou shalt not eat of it: from the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely diet.
18. And The Mayor said, It is not good that the man should eat Good and Plenty alone; I will make him an help to bring meat for him.
19. And out on the road The Mayor found every beast of the field and it madeth a very foul smell in the air; and brought them unto the butcher to see what he would call them and roadkill was the name thereof.
20. And the butcher gave names to the roadkill of cattle and fowls of the air, and to every beast of the Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest; but for the butcher there had not found an help to carve the meat with him.
21. And The Mayor's prattle caused a deep sleep to fall upon the butcher, and he slept: and The Mayor took some of the extra ribs and closed up his office.
22. And the ribs, which The Mayor had taken from the butcher shop, made he spare that he called bar-b-q of the flesh thereof and brought them unto The Right Honorable Spouse.
23. And The Mayor said, this is now ribs of my bar-b-q of the bones, and her feast of flesh on the bones on the flesh shall be called bar-b-q spare ribs because it was taken out of a pig.
24. Therefore shall The Mayor leave his Bar and his Grill to cleave the pig unto The Right Honorable Spouse and they shall eat one flesh.
25. And they were both sated, The Mayor and The Right Honorable Spouse, and they were not hungry.
=====================================================
Followeth thou The Mayor or thou shalt truly diet:
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October 14th, 2015
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Comments (14)
Constance Lowery
interesting illustration and beyond exceptional, humorous writing. fantastic work. L/F
Alana Thrower
That was a rather convoluted process! But I guess when you are the Mayor you do it however you want. Thanks for the more interesting version of the phrase "Bringing Home the Bacon! l/f
Jim Williams replied:
Convoluted? The Mayor? The original document is incomprehensible. Thanks, Alana.
Robyn King
Had to revisit, love this one Jim, makes me hungry for spareribs ;-) sharing♥
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you again, Robyn. This is like Chinese spare ribs. An hour later you need to read it again.
Patricia Keller
Very interesting. l/f/p/t
Jim Williams replied:
Please don't tell anybody, but I'm plagiarizing another book. Only the names have been changed to protect my copyright. Thank you, Patricia.
Robyn King
LOL excellent work Jim hail to barbecue!!! Your mind is a wonderful thing my friend;-) So funny love this!!
Denise Dube
Viewers must read the description to go with the print... Brilliant! LF
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you very much, Denise. Every time I've marched in the Dragon*Con parade there has been a guy costumed as a strip of bacon. Maybe Kevin Bacon?