Title
God Guns and Girls
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Short Story
Description
It has come to Our attention that required automatic budget cuts for the US Armed Forces have forced them to find cost cutting technologies and methodologies. But the old saying that we always fight the last war is true with training for the last war as well. They are using obsolete games from the 1990's.
According to a highly placed Federal official, an anonymous mole who We planted and nurtured, feeding and watering it carefully and diligently in order to see it bud and flower in its full brilliance as a source ... (Please excuse Us, We over-analogize.), the following are some of these technologies and methodologies.
USAF
Pilots have traditionally been required to have a BS plus pilot school and maybe Top Gun school. But the most successful bomber pilot in the AF is now a homeschooled 380 lb 19 year old computer gamer in St Louis, MO, who hasn't left his parents' basement for the last 15 years. He trained himself by constantly playing flight simulators for those 15 years. The AF replaced his X-Box 360 controls with the controls of a drone bomber located in Afghanistan. He thinks it's just another flight simulator and that his mom gave it to him for his birthday. Now, he is 12,000 miles away from the war zone and is inflicting massive casualties without being endangered himself. The airplane pilots rightly view this as a threat to their jobs. This young man is a harbinger of the end of piloted combat aircraft.
NAVY
The Navy has begun using Nintendo games to train their commandos, the Seals. The Navy has tried to keep the truth about Seal Team 6 secret, but it's been leaked. Seal Team 6 is actually a collection of Nintendo characters led by Super Mario. Super Luigi is the one who killed Osama bin Laden. A nearby Afghani military training center was unaware of bin Laden because they were training on an old game of Pong.
Training for Naval battles is conducted using games of electronic Battleship.
ARMY
Basic duties consist of a number of specialized skills and games: for hand to hand combat they use Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots; climbing and rappelling are accomplished with Chutes and Ladders (AKA: Snakes and Ladders); obstacle courses have been replaced by games of Kong; the closest they could get for grenade throwing is an old game of Lawn Darts.
Specialized military duties include the Army Corps of Engineers architects building with LEGOS, Rubik's Cube and the PC game Castles. Anti-aircraft defense teams use Space Invaders to keep us safe from aerial attack. The search teams which look for terrorists hidden in mountains and uncharted caves are the characters in a 90's version of Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. Once an appropriate target is established, the search is continued by a specialized squad of PAC-MEN and PAC-WOMEN. Microsoft Bomber will find and defuse roadside IEDs.
Leadership training in the Army is accomplished by playing Lemmings 22 hours a day for 8 weeks. The Rangers learn survival skills playing The Oregon Trail.
The Pentagon will use games of D&D to establish world domination.
See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
March 28th, 2015
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Viewed 150 Times - Last Visitor from Wilmington, DE on 03/23/2024 at 10:07 AM
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Comments (11)
Alana Thrower
Lots of mixed feelings about the whole situation! I had cap guns and water guns as a kid. l/f
Hartmut Jager
A sad list of statistics...
Jim Williams replied:
"It may not be the land of the free but it's still the home of the brave." (Grace Slick/Jefferson Airplane)
Hartmut Jager
Of course Jim ,that is unfortunately very true, but I'm talking more about 'homegrown' USA, non religion related killings, where any demented, hateful person can all too easily buy a gun.
Jim Williams replied:
Of course we have an unnecessary number of massacre deaths annually. Gun massacres account for 80-120 deaths per year. But we have much bigger problems than that: 9000+ gunshot homicides per year, 19,000-20,000 gunshot suicides, households with guns death ratios are about 6 to 1 "good guy to bad guy", 55,000 deaths because they can't afford medical treatment, 75,000 auto deaths, 90,000 alcohol related deaths, 250,000 iatrogenic deaths, 480,000 tobacco related deaths. Law enforcement estimates that there are hundreds or even thousands of active serial killers in the US today. I would like to be able to move to Australia and I'm certain y'all have your problems too.
Hartmut Jager
This tragic photo is a stark reminder, and perhaps the reasons, of why there are so many mass shooting killings in The USA - and not anywhere else ? ? ?
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks for revisiting, Harmut. In all fairness, we aren't alone. Please remember that innocent people, including children, are being slaughtered in the middle east and Africa, frequently in the name of religion and sometimes hundreds or thousands at a time. I'm sure that authoritarian counties with more controlled media simply don't admit to their mass and serial murders.
Barbie Corbett-Newmin
My little brother played with toy guns. Little girls can, too. And they should be able to defend themselves. They can't do it with brawn! Just my opinion, I could be right, Anyway, thanks for the laughs!
Jim Williams replied:
I support the 2nd Amendment right to bear firearms because one day we'll need them to defend ourselves from the supporters of the 2nd Amendment. Glad you like it, Barbie.
Hartmut Jager
And I bet that the gun, like the flag, is a real one... :-(
Jim Williams replied:
Not only that, I'd bet they were both made in the USA too. Hard to find today.
Hartmut Jager
A sad, sad image of how we brainwash our children to accept gun, wars and other nefarious evils we do to others -and to ourselves... :-(
Miroslava Jurcik
I just hope the girl is not holding a real gun ! Great find ! l/f
Jim Williams replied:
Actually, I'd be surprised if it WASN'T real. And loaded. See my previous response to Pharris Art. And thank you very much, Miroslava.