Title
Myassa County - The Exit Polls
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Digital Art - Digital Art And Pie Chart
Description
8:00 pm, November 8, 2016. The polls have closed in Myassa County. This is what the exit polls found:
After a hard fought but losing presidential election campaign against his greatest political rival, None of the Above, The Mayor's constituents' characteristics have been evaluated statistically by the College of Recreation, Anthropology, Archeology, Computer and Kinesthesiological Sciences In Myassa, Florida (CRAACKS in Myassa). The Department of Political Scilence, which is funded by a grant from the National Stifle Association (Motto: SHUT THE FU** UP!), has analyzed The Mayor's base support groups in order for The Mayor to concentrate his next election efforts on somewhat less idiotic redneck voters, while still loading his bases.
Of the voters who identified themselves in exit polls as having voted for The Mayor, the percentages of those discrete populations which he won over is as follows:
1. Who are motorboater voters who do not own motorboats ... 0.03%
2. Who are Taoist kazoo death metal band groupies ... 0.275%
3. Who are closet disco queens ... 0.0016%
4. Who are survivors of Orca attack ... 0.068%
5. Who are owners of more than 150 pets ... 2.22%
6. Who are monogamous straight partners in polygamous gay marriages ... 0.51%
7. Who will be left behind in the rapture ... 99.0001%
8. Who are trapped in fairy circles ... 4.67%
9. Who are in vegetative states for over 7 years ... 100%
10. Who are comatose survivors of NDE who saw their grandmothers on the rainbow bridge hooking up with Jesus ... 0.025%
11. Who believe that they are following someone who wants to do them good ... 0.00751%
12. Who are clueless ... 87.005%
13. Who failed home school ... 10.027%
14. Who think they are too sexy for their shirts (but are not) ... 3.14159265359%
15. Who are Bob Dobbs impersonators ... 0.0001%
16. Who randomly Xmas treed their ballots ... 0.075%
17. Who think they remember the '60s ... 8.73%
18. Who have never heard of The Mayor ... 17.0011%
19. Who lost big betting on the Puppy Bowl ... 0.5%
20. Who can't think of anything to say at Rocky Horror Picture Show ... 41.7%
21. Who should not be allowed to vote ... 269%
22. Who are polydactyl lactating queens ... 0.57355%
23. Who saw Elvis in KMart stocking feminine hygiene products ... 3.011%
24. Who are Straight men with tramp stamps ... 2.0001%
25. Who are Professional martyrs ... 0.0011%
26. Who have had posthumous religious conversions ... √n-1%
27. Who are ladies in their fourth virginity ... 0.0021478539%
28. Who are pussy-whipped by The Right Honorable Spouse ... 10.00%
29. Who are Cargo Cultists for Christ ... 0..213%
30. Who play slaves fighting for the Confederacy in Civil War reenactments ... 0.01002%
31. Who are retired breeders of Myassa Terrible Tiger Gators ... 0.00% of zero
32. Who couldn't find None of the Above on the ballot ... 6.8%
33. Who refused to take the survey ... 16.333%
34. Who thought they were voting for the skunk ape ... 0.00201%
35. Who think they ARE the skunk ape ... 62.5%
36. Who are pseudo-intellectuals ... 88.888%
37. Who did not vote ... 96.325%
38. Who are supporters of the Second Amendment ... 865.332%
39. Who are The Mayor ... 600.00%
40. Who are The Right Honorable Spouse ... 0.0%
41. Who won't SHUT THE FU** UP! ... 28.58%
42. Who are discovered dead at work ... 18.75%
43. Who didn't have the sense to stop reading this before getting this far. You know who you are. And now so do we.
Results greater than 100% may be due to multiple votes and/or interviews. And/or lousy poll surveyors. And/or really bad survey designs. And/or the Department of Political Scilence. And/or the National Stifle Association. Anybody but me!
Reported by Emanuella H. Kruikin-Feist for the Department of Political Scilence, Statistical Smearing Committee. Results are statistically significant to .75, a correlation of 0.5, standard deviation = √16,293, and a chi square of who the hell remembers chi square?
The Mayor has demanded a recount claiming the outcome was rigged and the result of voter fraud.
PIE CHART LEGEND
a=12; b=x; c=19 down; d=p; e=K; f=√TRUE; g=0.00; h= √hh; i= √-1; j= a ? upside down; k=any key; l=3; m=orange-schmorange; n=YES; o=0; p=q; q=1A; r=PHI; s=PI; t=false; u=you; v=??; w=uu; x=the spot; y=NO; z=25 or 6 to 4; aa=12 steps; bb=Big Boy; cc=cubic centimeter; dd=big 'uns; ee=dolphin dialect; ff=SHUT THE FU** UP!
============================================================
For more action from Myassa, look here:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
November 8th, 2016
Statistics
Viewed 600 Times - Last Visitor from White Plains, NY on 03/29/2024 at 10:14 AM
Embed
Share
Sales Sheet
Similar Images
Comments (18)
Alana Thrower
Pie charts are great! They make me think about pie. Then I can forget about everything else for a while! l/f/g+/t/p
Jim Williams replied:
I know what you mean. I have gained 20 pounds since I made this one. Thanks, Alana.
Karen Adams
This makes as much sense as any of the actual polls! . . . and it is much prettier!......fv
Thomas Carroll
Happy Solstice Jim! Wish we were celebrating it at Newgrange, an ancient site in Ireland!
Thomas Carroll
Pies beware!...you cannot escape Jim's stare! ...Jim, you are a parallel universe...or maybe you are inside the pie...or maybe you are both... a Higgs Boson...in the pie and eating IT at the same time. Remember what they say...we are what we eat! More pie please...
Jim Williams replied:
Ice cream with that? I used to make pies with 3 concentric fillings, calling it a target pie. Its fillings drew you into the central filling. Then you draw it into your mouth. I may have to revisit this!
Thomas Carroll
Jim, Is this a pie chart? I like to think it is what we would have seen inside the CERN super collider after the exit polls closed. A Big Bang!! If you stare at the center dot long enough...the black hole pulls you into a parallel universe. L/F
Bunny Clarke
This is so fun and so true. LOL! You hit the nail on the head Jim. :o)
Jim Williams replied:
"...less idiotic redneck voters"? I fear that The Mayor is out of touch with his core constituency, not unlike some mainstream candidates who will remain nameless. Thanks for visiting the ward, Bunny.
Barbie Corbett-Newmin
Greetings, mayor. This key TOTALLY explains the human condition. Thank you! PS Who could NOT think of something to say at Rocky Horror Picture Show?! Oh, right, the people in # 9, 10, 12 36 & 42!
Thomas Carroll
Incredible ....will the Mayor be interviewed soon by Fareed Zakaria? Or maybe host SNL? Is so he will have to explain the 43 types of constituencies. I guess I must be included in 43...lol. Thomas
Stephanie Grant
Excellent!! Just wondering, how long does it take to come up with this stuff? I picture you with fingers in a blur over the keyboard trying capture the ideas before they escape.
Jim Williams replied:
Uh, I hate to disillusion you, Steph, but I'm a two finger, one thumb typist. And this one took almost minutes to visualize. I waited until the election was over because there is only one poll that counts. Please see reply to Pam. And thank you!
Pamela Iris Harden
Super hilarious! And the most beautiful pie I have ever seen!! :o
Jim Williams replied:
Trust me. I was a statistician. I know how this works. I just remembered the Key Lime Pie in the kitchen. Thanks, Pamela.
Recently Viewed
