Title
The Anthropomorph Liberation Movement
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Short Story
Description
ANTHROPOMORPH LIBERATION MOVEMENT
Anthropomorphs are the last great suppressed victims of discrimination yet they have always been right here with us! We live with them in our newspapers, on our TV shows, at children's parties. We watched our son grow up watching cartoon anthropomorphs and jump off the roof with a towel around his neck. Many in high government positions blamed juvenile delinquency on the dangerously antisocial cartoon and comic anthropomorphs! The country was under attack by a foreign force! Anthropomorphs!
Recently, however, it has been determined that delinquent and dangerous behavior is not attributed to anthropomorphs any more. We now know that antisocial behaviors are caused by Twitter.
Our children grew up and unconsciously passed their parents' dehumanizing anthropomorphic bigotries on to their children, etcetera. But these new kids today have seen through that prejudice against anthropomorphs (also known as anthros or thropes) and received great educations and wisdom from their 2D friends.
This new generation grew up loving anthropomorphs in comic books, funnies, graphic novels, cartoons, advertising, billboards, buses, elevators, public toilets, combat (who can forget Kilroy), even in space (The Man in the Moon). Kids know that anthropomorphs won't lie to them like their parents and teachers do. The kids are willing to relinquish privilege for anthropomorph equality. Trix will be for Silly Rabbit too.
Many, like geckos, ducks and Mr Moneybags, publicly represent trustworthy corporations but have no say in their operations and receive no pay for their efforts. Many great institutions of education are proudly represented by anthropomorphs. Professional athletic teams, Olympic ceremonies, the super bowl, NCAA, Microsoft and Apple Computers all have or have had anthropomorph representatives.
They've listened to Smoky and learned that they are responsible for forest fires. They listened to McGruff and learned that they are responsible for protecting their families from bad people. Hootie taught them that they are responsible for burying the Earth in rubble.
Sponge Bob showed them where sponges live. Bart and Cartman taught them respect. From Ren and Stimpy they learned that different species could have a neurotic codependent love-hate relationship, just like mommy and daddy.
In the movies they show how to find the concessions counter and how to dispose of the garbage sells. They show that lions, bears, crows and elephants can sing. And dance.
Donald and Daffy taught them how to respond under pressure. Mickey taught them ... taught them ... hm ... give me a minute, something will come to me. Hm mm mm mm mm. I'll get back with you later on that.
Cats love lasagna. Birds get angry. Coyotes can survive being blown up, running off a cliff, being smashed by a 10 ton lead weight, getting run over by trains, getting blown up, running off a cliff, being smashed by ... you know.
Barney taught them what love is. Scoobie Doo showed them how to debunk the supernatural and paranormal. They worry that Joe is going to develop lung cancer.
Cookie Monster demonstrated how to eat an Oreo back before he developed Type 2 Diabetes and an allergy to gluten. Kermit taught them that it isn't easy being green. Miss Piggy introduced them to karate.
Futurama showed them the 31st century. One eyed mutant anthropomorphs will be taking jobs from two eyed mutant anthropomorphs. An octopoid anthropomorph can be a medical doctor for an important intergalactic delivery service. Robots will one day smoke cigars. The Harlem Globetrotters will be alive in the 31st century. It gives kids the fleeting sense of security thinking there will be a 31st century.
Kids see pharmaceutical anthropomorphs urge parents to talk to their doctors about the inability to take baths in two tiny bath tubs without a prescription and that having a boner for over 4 hours is dangerous. For whom? They deserve to know! We all deserve to know!!
We ALL grew up watching cartoons! Don't you remember when they seemed real, even for just an instant? They were trying to break through the fourth wall which separates us! Don't you still feel it sometimes? Give them a hand up. Take an anthropomorph to lunch or dinner, maybe bring one home or to work to show everybody. You won't regret it.
I have only represented anthropomorphs in the past. Today I, The Right Honorable Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, Mayor of Myassa, Florida, proudly and publicly announce that I, too, am an anthropomorph.
*********WARNING**********
Don't listen to those quasi corporeal companion (QCC) libbers. Anthropomorphs have at least 2 dimensions. QCCs, AKA invisible playmates, have zero dimensions. Don't relate us with that crowd, please. They aren't like you and me.
See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
April 1st, 2015
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