Title
The Second Plague of Egypt and Myassa
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Short Story
Description
We wish to warn or remind those folks who will be drivin in or near Myassa that spring is comin quickly. Folks who live in Myassa know what that means: Frogs. That's right, Frog Poppin Season is nigh! The horny little amphibians come out of the ditches, ponds and lakes to set up rendezvouses in the middle of the roads. Folks who aren't experienced in driving on frogs should exercise great caution on our roadways for the next couple of months. Even experienced frog poppers have been known to crash when they start to slide on frogs.
And y'all need to remember that last year two trucks, one full of grasshoppers and the other overflowin with earthworms fum the Sopchoppy Worm Gruntin' Festival, were carryin bait for the upcomin annual ditch fishin contest, Hookers in Myassa, durin the annual Frog Poppin' Festival. As they approached the intersection from east and north they both went into uncontrollable frog slides which resulted in an accident that left a couple of tons of night crawlers and grasshoppers spread all over the intersection. They were soon followed by a few tons of frogs that came out of the ditches lookin for a meal. And, as if that wasn't enough, about 20,000 crows saw the moveable feast and invited their relatives for dinner. Now y'all might know this but crows don't actually eat frogs. They eat frogs' livers, which leaves liverless dead frogs everywhere. But not just any ol' liverless dead frogs, liverless dead frogs stuffed with worms and grasshoppers. And there was lots of crow poop. Then a busload of French tourists slid off the road. They knew what to do: save the legs! They set up a frog barbeque and we all had a picnic!
After all the wrigglin', hoppin', jumpin, croakin', flappin', eatin', poopin', dyin', an barbequein were done we had drivers parkin' their cars and trucks underwater in the roadside ditches. Before the frog plows could make the scene to clear the roads we counted more cars and trucks in the ditches than live frogs. When the tow trucks finally arrived and hooked the cars up, they slid backwards into the ditches too.
In conclusion, we advise everyone who drives in Myassa to buy and install frog chains or frog tires on their vehicles. It could save everybody a bunch of problems. But it would ruin Frog Poppin Season for us.
See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
August 23rd, 2014
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Viewed 104 Times - Last Visitor from Brandon, FL on 03/05/2024 at 10:39 AM
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Comments (4)
CECILY MITCHELL
Jim, Your just way too wonderfully weird and brilliant for words. My cheeks hurt from laughing!!!
John Malone
Creative and unique! L
Jim Williams replied:
I'm glad you enjoy the story, John. It is actually the reason I took the pictures.
Kym Backland
WHAT? Are these dried treats to carry in your backpack to eat at a later time? hehe.. /WHAT/? (whoops did I forget to take my finger off the key/?/ hehe.. Thanks for the features and the work you do in the fun "what?" group.. I appreciate it Jim.. LF
Jim Williams replied:
Yep, this is Myassa trail mix. We use it when we go hiking in the Myassa State Endangered Invasive Species Flora and Fauna Preserve or the Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest.
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