Feds Invade Myassa

by Jim Williams

Title

Feds Invade Myassa

Artist

Jim Williams

Medium

Photograph - Photo And Tale

Description

Since many of readers may not know just what President Pushy Groper is up to, I'll quickly explain.

He has suddenly become aware that Federal properties may become targets of demonstrations by groups of subversives like people who live nearby, upset mothers and military veterans. He is distressed that not enough people are attacking Federal property, so he has sent his Presidential attack forces to anger the citizens enough to make them demonstrate around Federal properties, thus exhibiting sufficient grounds for him to send in kidnappers in camo.

As manager of the reelection campaign for Our Standard Bearer, The Right Honorable Rantin N, Raven-Faux VI, the Mayor of Myassa, Florida, I have been assisting him to deal with Federal agents who arrived several weeks ago to pretend practicing protection.

The only Federal property to practice pretending in here is the Myassa National Old Growth Kudzu Forest. Two weeks ago they went to take a look at the forest and all piled into black cars and SUVs and drove away without listening to The Mayor's warnings of the dangers there. No body has seen or heard from them since.

We think possibly one of two or three scenarios occurred:

After spending four weeks soaking up the local culture at Myassa Liquors Bar and Grill, they may have gotten lost on the Maya Way Orda Highway roundabout;

They may have given up trying to find it because GPS doesn't work in Myassa. Myassa is largely a state of mind, thus has no coordinates. But you can always get there from here.

They may have found the forest. The forest may also have found them and has entwined them to death, like anything that is still for too long in the kudzu (about 15 seconds). We looked for them using a flying RV mounted video camera. The last thing on the video transmission was kudzu reaching up to it. Now we know never to fly over it again.

The Mayor, as a kid flying a kite had a wind change that blew the kite over the forest. He saw a tendril reach up to the string and curl around it. He dropped the string and ran. When hen he looked back it had reached the kite and was entwining it in mid air. There is still a strange spire in there, but no one will look for it to confirm the folklore (another of The Mayor's tall tales?).

That's how it is in Myassa, where all the women open carry, the men have one tooth, and all the children look remarkably like The Mayor.

Photo of Myassa National Old Growth Forest
With permission from YA Duck

Uploaded

July 30th, 2020

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