Title
Myassa Redneck Olympics Chariot Race
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Found Photo And Short Story
Description
REDNECK CHARIOT RACE
The first event in this year's Olympics was held on the Maya Waye Orda Highway Off-Ramp Raceway. Contestants designed and built their own creations and this year's chariots took as many forms as there were entries, three. The only requirements for the chariots is a carriage pulled by a separate power source.
Myassa's three contestants were from Pratt Falls Harley-Davidson Motors, Wrecked 'Em Auto Recycling and Body Shop and Dingle-Berry-Pickens Farm.
The hands-down favorite was from Pratt Falls Harley-Davidson, a rubber wheeled chariot pulled by harnessed twin Harleys and steered by reins attached to the handle bars by Bad Ass Bupkus. It had been clocked at over 100 mph in trials. Wrecked 'Em's, piloted by owner, B.M. Tush, entered with the shell of a '40s era Chevy station wagon, a former postal delivery vehicle with the steering wheel on the right side of the cabin. It had an unusual power source and drive method unless you have run the Alaskan Iditarod: a 25 foot long 2X6 board was attached to the driver's side and had a team of six dogs on leashes harnessed to it from bumper to bumper. However, the strangest entry by far came from Dingle-Berry-Pickens. The driver was the 4 month old Merry Berry and was pulled by her older sister Kerry Berry, a cross-country runner for Myassa High. Kerry had never cut her hair and had ten foot long braids which were tied to the handle of Merry's stroller. They were given a zero chance of winning.
Things didn't turn out as expected. Bad Ass accidentally took a wrong turn and wound up 250 miles away in Cracker County, Georgia, where he was caught in a speed trap. After one lap, B.M.'s all male dog team caught wind of a female in heat and chased her for over two miles, where they all took turns. All except B.M., of course. At least he said he didn't.
Merry and Kerry never had to hurry in the now empty race track. They finished the five mile course alone to the applause and cheers of the Dingle-Berry-Pickens' Farm families and hands and crowd. They received the Myassa Olympics Golden Hemorrhoid for first place from the head redneck himself, The Right Honorable Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, Mayor of Myassa.
Follow the ongoing saga of Myassa, Florida and The Mayor:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
Uploaded
July 15th, 2015
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Viewed 554 Times - Last Visitor from Cupertino, CA on 03/29/2024 at 10:07 AM
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Comments (15)
Jack Zulli
Like to see them lined up at the starting line;) nice find;0
Jim Williams replied:
I'm sorry that I couldn't use the photos of the other two chariots. They are included in the book. Thanks, Jack.
Miroslava Jurcik
OMG, were did you find this !! What a hair !! l/f
Jim Williams replied:
I surf the search engines with generalized descriptions like "weird, old, vintage". It's a wonderland of historic weirdness. Thanks, Miroslava.
Robyn King
Hey that looks like fun although it would give you a headache right?? What ?? Fantastic one Jim!!
Jim Williams replied:
From what my wife has said about her two little sisters, they all give you headaches, pigtails or not. Thank yo, Robyn.
Karen Adams
Oh my gosh, Jim....This is too funny! "Mom! I think my braids are too tight!!".....vf
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you, Karen. There are some images that must be used, even though you might not know why. This is one. I usually have a story written and find some picture to use. This time I found four bizarro photos that mimicked chariot racing somehow and wrote them a story. Two of the other three are described in the story. The other is too bizarre to describe and I want to make up its story.
Barbie Corbett-Newmin
Wild photo, wild hair, wild story!!!!! When does this collection get published?
Jim Williams replied:
Barbie, I got two words for you: come and get it! I've printed and stapled the galley proof of the first volume. It's in production today! Thanks. It's yours for an 9X12 SASE.
Patricia Keller
Fantastic to see. l/f/p/t
Jim Williams replied:
Thank you, Patricia. I have photos of the other two entries, as well. I wish I could post three pictures. I'm looking for somewhere to use them.
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