Title
Attention Dead Employees
Artist
Jim Williams
Medium
Photograph - Short Story And Found Photo
Description
ATTENTION DEAD EMPLOYEES
Re the unfortunate discovery of the death of former Myassa County Library Bookmobile driver Mrs. Maya Waye Orda:
It has been brought to our attention that there have been nationwide reports of similar discoveries of dead employees remaining at work, therefore on the payroll, for undetermined periods of time. For management, this is an extremely worrisome action. The dead employees may have been paid hundreds or even many thousands of dollars which management could have split between themselves. This may be an unfair labor practice and may lead to the termination of the dead employees after consulting with the proper labor unions' attorneys to determine if termination for death was included in the currently negotiated contract.
In the unfortunate possibility that Myassa County/Township management continues to be burdened with undiscovered deceased employees, we have prepared a recommended policy.
1. Form 3825/f/c, Notice of Intent to Die at Work, should be filed at least 30 days prior to the intended date of death. In case the Notice of Intent to Die At Work has not been submitted in a timely manner, the following actions shall be taken:
2. If the employee has not fallen over because they are being held up by chairs, desks, walls, office equipment, or any other employer owned, rented, borrowed, leased, or otherwise held or utilized property, management shall not be held responsible for failure to notice that an employee is dead at work and the employee shall be held responsible for failure to report the death.
3. Employees unexpectedly found dead at their workstations shall have 30 calendar days to report their deaths on Form 3825/f/d, Failure to File Notice of Intent to Die At Work, and shall be placed on unpaid administrative leave.
4. If the deceased employee has not reported his or her death within 30 days, he or she shall be given an additional 30 days to file a Form 3825/f/e, Request for Extension of Deadline for Failure to File Notice of Intent to Die At Work, for a 30 day deadline extension.
5. Employees who are not propped up, as described in #2, above, shall have 30 days to file grievances, with an automatic 30 day extension, against any or all of the non-management employees who did not bring their deaths to the attention of management.
6. Management shall have at least 90 days to respond to death notices, requests for extensions, grievances, or unreported deaths.
7. Only one death, reported or unreported, shall be permitted per employee.
This policy shall be executed on July 1, 2016 or upon the date of this policy's approval, whichever occurs soonest.
Signed:
The Right Honorable Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, The Mayor of Myassa, Florida and County Manager of Myassa County
Image and original article from SNOPES,COM.
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Follow the Chronicles of Myassa, Florida "Where You're Past is Our Future" and The Mayor here:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130
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June 4th, 2016
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Comments (24)
JOHN KING
24 hours a day for a week, big paycheck...………………………...
Jim Williams replied:
Day, week, month, year, nobody cares about proofreaders. Our newspaper fired theirs several years ago. The sports writers are especially needy.
Denise Clark
How sad...I must move around more. Surely he must have smelled or was that "normal" as well. very interesting. l/f
Lynda Lehmann
Yikes! Perfect underscore for the word "absurd," as we witness it in modern life. Thanks for the chuckle!
Thomas Carroll
Jim, I wonder what Jack Kerouac and Willie Nelson would think of Maya now. It was different when she was On The Road. Now she IS The Road. Very inspiring and existential. Could be a title for a new book.
Jim Williams replied:
"IS the Road" and "I'm the Road Again". I think you've got something there, Thomas.
Thomas Carroll
Jim, life is sometimes stranger than fiction. This article brings back memories of Bartelby the Scrivener! I also read about poor Maya. I think she must have been on the Road. Thomas.
Jim Williams replied:
Ah, yes. I remember Bartleby! He scrived the "I will nots" on Springfield's chalk boards after school. And what a coincidence! Now Maya IS the Road. Thanks, Thomas.
Barbie Corbett-Newmin
I dropped in again to stress the importance of #7!!!!! Can't wait to see what Jim does with Stanza's old Ghanian papers!
Jim Williams replied:
Rule number 8: there is no rule number 8. I can't wait to find out what you do with the Chronicles.
Miroslava Jurcik
Lol, urban myth, should have realise !
Jim Williams replied:
It took me a while to realize it too. A good urban myth sounds just true enough to believe.
Susan Brown Slizys art signature name
Thanks for the,heads up re-comment. I now do not have to worry.Bureaucracy needs those empty heads in the upright position,right?
Jim Williams replied:
Remaining upright was one of the most difficult tasks I performed over 23 years as a bureaucrat.
Susan Brown Slizys art signature name
Funny one ,Jim, especially since you say it is an urban myth.I especially love your tongue in cheek # 7 you do not want any Lazarus effects taking place, right? F/L
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks, Susan. You're right about bodily resurrection, but this policy intentionally doesn't include the walking brain-dead, without whom no bureaucracy could survive.
Miroslava Jurcik
Wow, that's so sad , especially for the people around him....
Jim Williams replied:
Thanks for commenting, Miroslava, but don't feel bad for them. The article is from snopes.com, which specializes in urban mythology, and this is a good example. There's absolutely no way that the article can be confirmed because it simply says it's from the state of New York, but not what city. No employer is specified. The news source is missing (except snopes.com). The article is as fake as my memo. I'm glad you enjoy it.
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