Auto - Erotics Appeals to Supreme Court Photograph by Jim Williams

Auto - Erotics Appeals to Supreme Court

by Jim Williams

Title

Auto - Erotics Appeals to Supreme Court

Artist

Jim Williams

Medium

Photograph - Found Photo And Short Story

Description

In another hotly contested nine to zero decision, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) has overturned the auto theft conviction of a female Myassa resident, Ms. ________ (name withheld to protect the innocent and prevent the embarrassment that SCOTUS was actually suckered into such an appeal). The decision was expected to be much closer and once again be decided by the swing voter, Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy. While the other eight Justices maintained their unbridgeable political divide, the case hinged upon a centuries-old holdover precedent from British common law. Precedence is a ruling factor in SCOTUS decisions. The conflict was between which of two precedents should prevail, centuries-old common law or modern statutes.

The case involved the 1993 theft of a 1932 Ford model ''S'' (the 18th failed precursor to the model ''T'') from the yard of Myassa's Wrecked 'Em Auto Recycling and Body Shop and original conviction in April 2001. Since that time, 27 courts had refused to hear an appeal based upon a narrow and unnecessarily strict interpretation of Grand Theft Auto laws. SCOTUS may have confused the legal statutes with the rules for the video game Grand Theft Auto XII, Straight Outa Myassa, in which the theft of a 1932 Ford model ''S'' from Wrecked 'Em Auto Recycling and Body Shop was the final challenge. Or not. Court proceedings have been sealed until all current members of SCOTUS have been dead for at least 50 years.

Confusing things further, the case also involved religious freedom, as recognized in the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States (FATTCOTUS). The Jewish lobby and Myassa's First Church of Beer Almighty presented conflicting testimony in the case. SCOTUS's ruling recognizing LGBTQ marriages was also argued as a precedent.

A brief synopsis of the case includes the 2001 trial, which included evidence of the religious conversion of the Ford to Judaism when Ms. _______ cut off the tip of the Ford's exhaust pipe in order to marry within the defendant's faith and subsequent marriage between the defendant and Ford in Myassa's First Church of Beer Almighty after a night of heavy communioning in Myassa Liquors Bar and Grill.

Giving up, SCOTUS ruled in favor of the common law restrictions against forcing a spouse to bear witness against the other spouse, so all evidence obtained from the Ford was disallowed. Auto-erotics were added to the Court's ruling on LGBTQ marriages.

An anonymous Chief Justice of SCOTUS was overheard summing up the Court's decision with: ''Who the hell cares? As long as she doesn't marry MY car!''

The defendant and spouse are shown in a post decision auto-erotic moment.
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Image found online without references.

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