Feline Suffrage

by Jim Williams

Title

Feline Suffrage

Artist

Jim Williams

Medium

Photograph - Short Story

Description

Never trust a person who doesn't like Cats.
Never trust a person whom Cats don't like.

Myassa County, Florida, has permitted cats to vote since the early 20th Century and feline suffrage has been supported by the vast majority of Myassa's voters and elected officials since that time. However, it has not always been easy for Cats to participate in our Loony democracy. Many barriers have been promoted by Cat segregationists for over a century. Law abiding Cats have been harassed at the polls through the use of poll taxes, age restrictions, rabies innoculations and literacy requirements. Each hurdle placed in their way eventually fell.

But the most insidious restriction to feline suffrage was the Jim Cat laws which lasted until the Civil Cats Act of 1964, passed despite the concerted efforts of Myassa County's segregationist southern dumbocrats to "love it to death" with pointless amendments. They attempted to include snakes, birds, moles, aardvarks, ladybugs, black widow spiders, mosquitos, anoles (southern false chameleons), alligators, bees, cattle, gerbils and even invasive plants like kudzu, false auralia, and Chinese Tallow were used in an attempt to slow the wheels of Raving Loonacy. They even had the effrontery to attempt to include dogs! Each amendment was defeated as it came up for vote.

The photo above shows the line of black cats waiting outside the polling station in the Newly Renovated Santorum Ballroom� to vote for the first time in 1966, over a half century after receiving their initial rights to vote. A volunteer "election observer" paid by Cat segregationists can be seen challenging each black Cat to prove their legal residency in Myassa County. As was expectable, the Cats completely ignored him until he sat down. They then lept onto his lap, head and shoulders, sneezed into his face, sharpened their claws on him and shed pounds of fur all over him while their humans giggled. Later he was hospitalized suffering from cat scratch fever, fleas and a pathological disorder.

We feel that the time has come for inclusion in the United States of A Merka Bill of Rights and are pleased to present to you:

The Feline Suffrage Plank of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party of the United States of A Merka:
1. One Cat, at least One Vote.
2. Two for Tabbies.
3. No votes for dogs. They will only vote the way that their masters tell them to.
4. For purposes of the Census, each dog shall be counted as three-fifths of a Cat.

Research provided by Lyda Dzgoldynzscheyzes, cat advisor to The Right Honorable Rantin N. Raven-Faux VI, Mayor of Myassa, Florida ("Where You're Past is Our Future")

See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130

Photo from 9gag.com.

Uploaded

April 1st, 2015

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